I have decided...

Because of the schedule we run in the Griffith household I usually have a little time to get things done throughout the day, but it NEVER fails that when what I want to get done is a shower no one will sleep. So today even though the troops were restless I decided to hop in quickly. They were fed and warm and safe so I went for it. The minute my toe hit the water the twins began crying in stereo. I had a choice. I could step all the way in to the oh so inviting warm water and take a well overdue, well deserved shower or leave the bathroom and check on the twins for the umpteenth time only to find that they were just as I had left them with the addition of a few tears. I decided to shower. I know that is controversial, and that many of you reading this wouldn't have made the same decision, but there it is. I showered today. I rushed through it, barely feeling the steam or the warm water, I even decided shampooing my hair could wait another day. As I was rushing and feeling guilty that old envy began to creep up again. There are times when I am jealous of my husband.  Don't get me wrong, he works harder than anyone I know including me (okay maybe it's a tie), and he comes home ready to be the best dad he can be.  I am a little jealous of how he spends his time, and I am a lot jealous of his peace of mind. I am a little jealous that he gets to leave every day showered and dressed in clothes that are free of spit up and pee glancing in the mirror before he leaves and thinking "I look pretty good!" (which he does). I am a little jealous when I catch a glance of myself in the mirror and I am slightly horrified. I am a little jealous of fact that he gets adult conversations, respect, self assurance, etc from all of the time he spends at work, but I have to speak of my career in the past tense. I am a little jealous that I have been up 6 times before I wrote this sentence while I am sure he hasn't had trouble finishing a thought all day. I am a lot jealous that when he is at work, he knows without a doubt that someone who loves his children as much as he does is caring for them. He knows they are safe and loved with plenty of snuggles and kisses. He doesn't have to feel guilty because he has left the very best person in charge. He is at ease. He can breathe easily and focus on the day ahead. That is peace of mind. All of these "the grass is always greener" statements have been made by me, my friends and probably every mother ever. These conversations happen at play groups, Gymboree class, the food court at the mall, and book club (remember reading!). These conversations are cliched at best. They are not revelations. The struggles between dads who work and moms who stay home are written about in blogs and books by writers far more talented than me. And don't get me started on the working mother and what she thinks of all our complaining. Trust me, I have been her and you don't want to step to that. The working mom is operating on a whole other level, on a whole other playing field for a whole other team. Despite all the cliches and the jealousy I have decided: I am going to be grateful and joyful. I chose those words carefully. Those are two traits I really want to exemplify and pass along to my children. I am not just going to write it. I am not just going to say it, I am going to do my best to live it. I am going to show it to my family, and especially my husband. I have a lovely life. If the worst thing that happens in a day is that I have to rock a baby to sleep then I am a lucky person. When I start to feel jealous of my husband's time I am going to stop and be grateful for the time I have with my children and the memories we are making together. When I want to run screaming for the hills I am going to stop and tickle my four year old because her belly laugh always makes me smile. I will choose joy instead. When I start to feel guilty about choosing to take a quick shower despite crying children, I am going let myself off the hook because a happy mommy equals a happy home and a dirty mommy is almost never happy. I have decided.

What Was Once So Small

I knew that Ellasen was growing up. I knew that she was growing up FAST. But I don't think I really GOT IT until the twins came along. With their tiny fingers, toes and noses they shined a giant blinking arrow towards Ellasen showing me just how big she had really gotten. I have heard that this happens when you have a second child, but wow did it hit me like a ton of bricks recently. When I hold Ellasen's hand I wonder when it could have gotten so big. When I hear her speak I wonder when she started understanding so much. When she leaves for the day she comes home just a little different, a little changed, a little more grown up. I feel like she was just my baby yesterday, and yet somehow here we are. The twins utter helplessness has only reminded me of how self-reliant and confident our first born is.  I love the person she is becoming, and I know she will continue to amaze us, I just wish I could pause the clock for a moment.

Here are some pictures of what we have all been up to lately!

My cousin Kelly came to visit. She just got back from 18 months in Japan

We took Kelly to Alice's Tea Cup for breakfast

Valentine's Day Photo Shoot

Everly Smile

Ellasen opening some Valentines 

Princess Ellasen

Everly is wearing a princess crown from Ellasen's princess game

Two Month Photo Shoot

Waiting to see the doctor at our checkup

Picture of Mommy's Favorite Things 

Snow Family

Eden and Everly 2 Months

Eden and Everly are 2 months old today! They are getting so big, and they are changing all the time! I am definitely more in love with these early stages this time around. I am trying to take time out to cherish all the small moments because I know how fast it will all go. I knew Ellasen was a big girl, but I had no idea how big until these littles were born. Holding Ellasen's huge hand makes me feel like I am going to miss it...like I am going to blink and she will be taking the Volvo to college.

Here are some things about the girls as a pair:
*They nurse 7 times in 24 hours
*They sleep from about 10:30 PM-between 4 and 6 AM
*They take about 5 naps per day
*They are both great eaters
*They smile pretty regularly now
*They can track with their eyes
*They can both hold their heads up for a few seconds
*They are in size one diapers
*They are in newborn clothing
*They are still in bassinets in our room

Here are a few things about Eden:
*She still has her red spots on her nose and upper lip, but Daddy swears they are fading
*She still has reflux
*She smiles every time she sees her big sister
*She cannot handle being overly stimulated and won't sleep much outside of her bed
*She weighs 8 lbs 13 oz and has gained almost 3 lbs in one month!
*She is still much fussier than Everly
*She is always moving - happy or sad

Here are a few things about Everly
*She is still a spitter, but she is happy about it most of the time
*She is super happy and calm most of the time
*She will sleep pretty much anywhere
*She weighs 8 lbs 10 oz and has also gained almost 3 lbs in one month!
*She still has relatively no hair

We love all of our girls to the moon and back! We are so lucky to have them in our lives!

Super Bowl and More

The Griffith household is very busy, but very fun right now. The days still sort of run together, and while there aren't a lot of major accomplishments happening we are never short on quality time and snuggles. Since we ARE short on blog-able events all (4) of our readers are stuck with looking at MORE pictures of the twins in which they look remarkably similar to the pictures in my last post. The twins have graduated into size one diapers (from newborn), and they are mostly in newborn size clothes now. They have both started smiling. While Everly is generally the happier of the two babies, she actually smiles less. She is going to be a fairly go with the flow sort of person I think. Eden, on the other hand, does everything with gusto. She eats feverishly, she cries passionately, she smiles with her whole body. Here are some photos from the last few days.

We had a little group over for the Super Bowl. There were 8 kids and 6 adults.

My friend Erin holding the twins

Bath Time for Eden

She loves it...NOT!

Everly is also a fan

Ellasen playing with her best friends Sam and Sara

My sweet Mother's Helper, Marion helped Ellasen bake me a banana bread for my birthday today. They put candles in and sang Happy Birthday to me together! Love both these girls!